I thought that Frankie would be the one that would have serperation anxiety once I started this internship.
The truth is that I'm the one suffering from it.
It's actaully very sad. I feel very lost without him. Look at me trying to be so tough thinking that I was "okay" with leaving him. But it's harder then it seems. I'm sad.
Maybe I wasn't ready to let go. I'm not ready to leave him at home while I go and "work". He went to the park toda d I was jealous because I had to be stuck in an office working with the population that I'm working with thats no, (pun not intended) walk in the park!
I miss playing with him and reading to him! I miss putting him in his pool and I miss putting him down for his nap. I miss feeding him his breakfast and lunch! I miss seeing him crawl around the floor.
The good thing is that I can come home and see his face light up! I can feed him dinner, play and give him his bath. But those 4 hours don't compare to being with him all day long.
I hope that these next 7-8 weeks fly by so I can come back and be with Frankie. Maybe I'm not ready to return to work just yet. Maybe I need more time. However, life circumstances says that I need to get back on the horse ASAP! And this means more time in the office and less time with my baby Frankie.
Only time will tell. For now, I have to keep coming home at lunch time to take care of Frankie's "milk" needs and see him, if only for a few minutes. I came home today to a happy baby! He had just woken up from a nap and was delighted to see me. Then he had lunch and had some milk. Then I went back to work. He seemed to be okay. BUt it was me that was crying inside.
THis can't all be negative though, I"m sure that when Frankie goes to a REAL babysitter, preschool or anyother event or place, this will be extremly happy. He does have stranger anxiety though, and he's working through it.
I guess we both have a lot of learning to do. A lot of working to do and a lot of hugging time.
(Frankie @ Easter (5 months)
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