First things first. I have two kids! YES !!! TWO I have a soon to be 4 year old named Santiago AKA Frankie and my 10 month old Jacob Dylan. Yes, named after Dylan from 90210! They are the cutest, but they are a lot of work!
Here's the THING:
I am a single mom. PHEW! There, I said it. The JIG IS UP!
I wouldn't be able to do all this without the help of my family who is extremely supp0ortive and they help out sooooooo much! They pick the kids up from the sitter and they take them out while I am at work. My mom watches them from time to time on the weekends so I can get a night off and I just really have a lot of support from them.
It's scary, It's hard and I don't want to at all glamorize it. (how can one glamorize it?) What I mean by that is social media, posting up pictures like saying #thisisallme #singlemom #yeahbro . (not knocking anyone for it. That's you, that's your life, this is just my personal opinion) This life is HARD !!! There millions of women out there who are single mothers (and single fathers too.) who take care of their children all on there own, and they put them through school and they dress them and all that. But aren't they scared? Mayra, what are you scared of.. Many things... my fears vary from not being able to provide for them. Not being able to be strong enough or wise enough or stable enough to one day buy my own home, put them through school and raise them up to be strong, independent, intelligent, successful, respectful gentlemen. Those are my fears!! And I know that I shouldn't worry about stuff like that, but I can't help it. I'm human.
This year has kicked my A$$! big time!!!! I mean, I have really been through the ringer. I went from being in a relationship, to NOT being in one, to maybe, perhaps, kinda sorta, Nah, not today, to being employed, to being on a mandatory LOA and then going back to work again. MY anxiety levels have caused me to lose sleep, have weird chest pains and then I still have to get up and function as a mom and some sort of human. I often find myself saying, "When am I going to catch a damn break?"
And I will! I KNOW I will. All I can do for now is just Roll with the Punches and really just try my best every single day.
No really, every night, when I go to bed I think, Did I do everything that I could? Did I try my best? And the answer is yes!
I'm tired. I'm sleepy, I can use a facial, massage and I would like to go out on a dinner date and really sit and enjoy my meal and have an adult conversation without having to get up every 5 seconds and not have to take someone to the potty or wipe someone's butt! PLEASE!
In all honestly, I love m children and I would give my life for them! Just like any mother (I hope)... I want the best for them and I will continue to work for it! I won't rest until we get there !!!!
<3
Mayra
XO
In all honestly, I love m children and I would give my life for them! Just like any mother (I hope)... I want the best for them and I will continue to work for it! I won't rest until we get there !!!!
<3
Mayra
XO
