My Mommy Update

First things first.  I have two kids!  YES !!! TWO I have a soon to be 4 year old named Santiago AKA Frankie and my 10 month old Jacob Dylan.  Yes, named after Dylan from 90210!  They are the cutest, but they are a lot of work! 

Here's the THING:   

I am a single mom.  PHEW! There, I said it.  The JIG IS UP!
 

I wouldn't be able to do all this without the help of my family who is extremely supp0ortive and they help out sooooooo much!  They pick the kids up from the sitter and they take them out while I am at work.  My mom watches them from time to time on the weekends so I can get a night off and I just really have a lot of support from them.
 

It's scary, It's hard and I don't want to at all glamorize it. (how can one glamorize it?)  What I mean by that is social media, posting up pictures like saying #thisisallme #singlemom #yeahbro . (not knocking anyone for it. That's you, that's your life, this is just my personal opinion)  This life is HARD  !!!  There millions of women out there who are single mothers (and single fathers too.) who take care of their children all on there own, and they put them through school and they dress them and all that.  But aren't they scared?  Mayra, what are you scared of..   Many things... my fears vary  from not being able to provide for them.  Not being able to be strong enough or wise enough or stable enough to one day buy my own home, put them through school and raise them up to be strong, independent, intelligent, successful, respectful gentlemen.  Those are my fears!! And I know that I shouldn't worry about stuff like that, but I can't help it.  I'm human. 

This year has kicked my A$$! big time!!!!   I mean, I have really been through the ringer.  I went from being in a relationship, to NOT being in one, to maybe, perhaps, kinda sorta, Nah, not today, to being employed, to being on a mandatory LOA and then going back to work again.  MY anxiety levels have caused me to lose sleep, have weird chest pains and then I still have to get up and function as a mom and some sort of human.  I often find myself saying, "When am I going to catch a damn break?" 

 

And I will! I KNOW I will.   All I can do for now is just Roll with the Punches and really just try my best every single day.

 

No really, every night, when I go to bed I think, Did I do everything that I could? Did I try my best? And the answer is yes! 

I'm tired.  I'm sleepy, I can use a facial, massage and I would like to go out on a dinner date and really sit and enjoy my meal and have an adult conversation without having to get up every 5 seconds and not have to take someone to the potty or wipe someone's butt!   PLEASE!  

In all honestly, I love m children and I would give my life for them! Just like any mother (I hope)...  I want the best for them and I will continue to work for it! I won't rest until we get there !!!!



<3
Mayra
XO

 

5 Annoying Things That My Kids Do

This is dedicated to all the parents out there who are often times annoyed by their own kids !


Children are truly blessings from above.  And I love mine with all my heart.  But sometimes they do things that are truly annoying.  And as much as you try to ignore it or take it as a grain of salt, it is inevitable.  Kids are smart and if they sense that something bothers you or annoys you they will continue to push your buttons.  Here is a little list of things that get on my nerves:

1) Loud toys:  Frankie has a plethora of loud trucks, books, action figures... you name it! He has it.  And how he loves them.  I can take, oh.... about 5 seconds of a loud police helicopter saying "STOP! we have you surrounded!" and how about talking Woody whose battery is now dead and he gets stuck saying "HOWDY, HOW, HOW, HOW, HOW!" Now, imagine having to listen to that in the car, while in traffic.  I almost throw Woody out the window.  But, I controlled myself and simply took it away.

2) They Do Creepy Things: Like scare you in the middle of the night by slowly opening the door and then they stand there. Not saying anything! That's creepy!  Or you hear a little voice in the dark, "mommy, mommy...."  Ahhhh scary for a split second I think it's a ghost ! Then I open my eyes and see it's only my 3 year old who has to go potty at 3 am.   Sometimes, I'm so deep in thought doing something in my room that I don't hear his footsteps before I know it he's in my face, "Mommy!"  I have tiny heart attacks everyday!

3) No Privacy:  I mean, none! I can't shower in peace because then I have someone peaking in "Can I take a shower too!  Mommy, I'm dirty too! Mommmmmmmy"   "NO! I'm done already!"  Geez!  Forget about having a conversation on the phone.  There's been many times when I've been talking on the phone with my friend or sister and Frankie is chiming in from the back seat, couch or wherever he may be. He doesn't even have to be in the same room as me, he could be upstairs some where and he hears me on the phone and he runs down to listen to "chisme". 

4) Sharing Food:  Of course they didn't want to eat that earlier when you offered it to them. But suddenly, now that it's on your plate, and fork and you're about to indulge in whatever it is you made for dinner, they suddenly want it too! From your plate! Better yet, let me sit on your lap so I can devour your entire plate.   

5) They Get a Lobotomy Daily: It was a fight to get him in the shower, brush his teeth, get him in bed and guess what, we did the same thing last night, and the night before and last week.  But Frankie magically forgot.  Because somehow, that didn't happen last night.  It's like their minds get erased while they sleep and they "forget" about what we did the night before leaving you to remind them over and over again to brush their teeth like this.....


Yeah, all those things can be annoying,  But then they do funny things.  They melt your heart everyday by saying and doing things that you could never imagine they'd do.  Like this morning, Frankie noticed me squinting and just before I came down stairs he said, "Wait Mommy, your glasses." and he hands them to me.  It was sweet and made me smile. No matter how many times I have to remind him to get in the shower and brush his teeth, no matter how many conversations he chimes in on and plays his loud toys, I know they will always protect their mommy! 

SAHM Not for the faint of heart 5 EASY self care tips for moms.

If you follow my blog then you'll know that I have recently transitioned to a Stay at Home Mom or SAHM. It's tough.  There are schedule to be followed, things to do and then at some point I have to shower , attempt to look like a human and find time to blog and write.  phew.

Before I know it it's bath time and of to bed they go.  At this point I'm overly tired and the writing is put on hold along with the stack of books  I want to read.  The days are long and the nights are short. Its kinda like a long summer.

I"m emotionally and mentally drained and it seems like everywhere I turn there is a kid crying or whining about something.  And I only have two kids. It's cute.. totally cute.

So what is a mom to do to avoid going clinically insane?  Running out of the house screaming is not an option (trust me., I almost did that this morning).  Here are some tips that may help you remain calm, collected and "normal".

1) Brush your hair- Ha-Ha I know, a given right? WRONG! There isn't really any time.  The other day I went shopping with my sister, mother and of course baby Jacob. My hair wasn't in it's usual top knot state. My hair was actually in a "fancier" hair do. Half up Half down! Oh yeah, you know, me, just living the life. Anyway, one of those sales people that sell hair products and facial scrub from the Dead Sea approached me and asked me what I used to style my hair. I was bothered because clearly, she could see that my hair wasn't styled and I looked CRAZY.  So I said, "I don't use products in my hair. I'm lucky if I could run a brush through it!  So yeah, moral of the story try to find time to brush your hair.

2) Drink some coffee- Pretend that you're enjoying a nice cup of coffee at your favorite coffee shop while your kids are napping.  It  seriously works.  Take a few minutes to yourself and don't think of any list or priorities or laundry, dinner, swim lessons.  Just sit down for like 10 minutes with your favorite magazine or book or heck, even your cell phone (although I don't recommend that because the whole purpose of this exercise is for you to unplug) and sip your coffee slowly taking the time to really enjoy it.  If you're not a coffee drinker then,..we're not friends. JK! we are! Enjoy some tea or your beverage of choice (avoid hard liquor until after the kids are in bed for the evening)

3) Take a well deserved Cat Nap- It can be challenging to take a much needed nap, but hey, your baby is down for one, why not treat yourself to a nap too. You've earned it.  You've been running after baby boy (or girl) all day.  Again, the laundry and all the other stuff can wait.  I always say every day that I'm going to take a nap when Jacob goes to sleep and I never do.  I'm always too busy.  Just 20 minutes of resting your feet or eyes can really boost your energy levels. You'll wake up rejuvenated and ready to tackle the rest of your day.

4)  Exercise- I know what you're going to say?  Really? Mayra? But I tried it and I'm telling you my mood and energy have really gone up.  Even if it's for 20-30 minutes. You don't have to go hard and take up some crazy exercise routine.  I 've been using my DVDs  or Jacob, Frankie and I go for walks.  IF the purpose is to get away from the kids (.. you can't get away even if your tried) then maybe wait until they're napping to workout OR if you're able to leave the with someone you trust like Dad or Grandma, then why not enroll in some kind of exercise class.  Do anything that makes you happy and most importantly something that you're going to commit to. (always consult a physician or healthcare provider before starting any type of exercise , especially if you're pregnant.)

5) Mani/Pedi/Facial/- Again, you can do this at home. I'm sure you have tons of nail polish just hanging out in your drawers waiting to be worn.  Take some time for yourself and get back to being you.  Not into manicures or pedicure, Try a facial.  You don't have to spend tons of money buying the expensive facial products at Sephora or Ulta. Simply go to Target or whatever drug store you love and buy some masks.  They're not expensive and they work great.  I treat myself to a facial from time to time and I feel great afterwards. 


The trick is to spend some time on yourself.  You spend a lot of time focusing on the kids and husband and other family members that sometimes you forget YOURSELF.   You're important too.  If you don't take care of yourself, who will? 

What are some of your mommy self care tips?  This isn't just open to moms, everyone needs self-care time.  Share yours with me.
<3
Mayra

Making the Transition From Working Mom to SAHM

A few years ago when I started my Stinkydiaperdiariesblog, I posted about going back to work and how I had separation anxiety.  Anyway, it was a difficult transition.  I had no idea  that leaving him would be so difficult. 

But, guess what, it got better. I was able to have both my career and my family life.  It wasn't easy, but I managed. 

Then, my heartbroke again when  had to take him to an actual daycare.  When I first started working, he was with a babysitter.  She was sweet as can be! She was the best babysitter on the planet.  She would cook for Frankie and she would give him a bath and let him get muddy.  She would put him down for naps and she would play with him.  Absolutely amazing!   Then, her sister began watching him.  She also was a wonderful babysitter.   The two sisters were just the best ever! 
However, when my job moved us to Downtown, my commute would be longer and therefore, I would be leaving him a lot earlier and for a longer period of time.  She no longer could take care of him. 

I had to enroll Frankie in a day care center.  I was very nervous about this.  Would he be okay with other children? Would he adjust well? What about the bottle issue?

To make a long story short, Frankie adjusted well and he has been happy happy happy at his "school" 2 years later, he is in the big boy classroom, has made friends and they even helped with  potty training.

So.....  now.........

There is a new story to tell........

I'm a Stay At Home Mom now!

Making this decision was not easy.  I prayed a lot about it.  I asked questions.  Many questions.  I outweighed my options.  I consulted my parent coach.  And ultimately, this was the best option.  dedicating time to my children and being there was more important then commuting back and forth, being stuck in traffic, being tired, grumpy and without energy.  Don't get me wrong,  I LOVED my job!! NO, really, I LOVED My job.  But my children and family come first.   I know that there is a reason behind every decision that is made and we're going to be okay.  I have faith in that!

As for making the transition,  It's been hard.  I have cried,  And my parent coach said that It will be difficult because its like you're going through a loss in your life.  There will be a grieving period. I cried when I resigned.  I cried when I went through my office things and cried when I drove off.   My supervisor once said (and I'm paraphrasing) "You are not this job! There is more to you then this job title. "  If you're reading this. You have been a major inspiration in my life and I really look up to you.  When I started this job, I never imagined all the new people I would come across.  Everyone from my clients to my coworkers.  I made amazing connections with people and you are one of them.    To my Saturday crew: You made my Saturdays brighter.  I will miss our coffee and donut breaks.  I'll miss the singing and dancing.  I will miss the laughs!  OMG! THE LAUGHS! 

This is a new chapter in my life and yes, it will be difficult.  but I want to experience this and take it all in.  Even if it means that there will be a struggle.  I may even further my education.  What  I do know is that I want to set an example to my boys.  I want to teach them and show them that in life, there are set backs.   You will fall down, many times.  But, we come back fighting.  This isn't a setback, at all.  It's a time of reflection.  It's time for playdates, mommy and me classes, park dates, picnics, reading, learning, playing, laughing,  It's time to make memories

.    

Tantrums, Teething and Body Image Issues.

It's been a difficult week:  There's been tiny melt downs, crying, body image freak-outs and ..... oh yes. This is all me! I don't think I've never been this stressed out in my entire life.

Frankie continues his tantrums.  They're very tiring.  For me at least.  He drains me each time. The other day he had a melt down outside because he didn't want to come inside after our walk.  He was yelling at the top of his lung.  I asked him nicely to come inside.  But he didn't want to hear it.  So I left him there while I took Jacob inside.  I watched him from the window.  He continued to yell for about a minute before he came inside on his own and continued his tantrum inside for another 2 minutes. 

After he finished, we discussed why he couldn't stay outside unsupervised.  Of course he said, "Ok".  But I knew that the rest of the night would be hard.  Once he starts with one tantrum it spirals to another one shortly after. 

On top of Frankie's attitude, Jacob is now officially teething.  He's drooling, and is very irritable.  He only wants to be held upright and does not want me to rock him in the glider.  The sollybaby wrap is really coming in handy because he seems to feel better when he's close to me.  OBVI.  I'm currently looking for those Amber teething necklaces that can alleviate teething pain.  
(ahh as I type this, Frankie is walking around using Jacob's vibrating teething ring that my sister got for Jacob. I told him a million times to get it out of his mouth!"  GRRRRR)

Ok, anyway... back to the teething necklaces. I saw some on Etsy and I think that I'm going to order some from there and see if they work.

As for me, I've been a little down this week.   I don't know if it's baby blues or body insecurities or what.  I've been feeling Not like myself lately.  And I think that I really need to make some time for myself. No kids, NO Man! JUST ME! ALONE!  One of my friends said that she goes and gets a Mani/Pedi NO EXCEPTIONS! that is her time and I think that I'm going to make that rule for myself.  I must, before I go INSANE! 

Nobody is perfect. Moms are no exception.  I understand that we're all adjusting to this new life.  Frankie is adjusting to Jacob and Jacob is adjusting to life on this planet.  And I'm adjusting to being a mom of two boys. 

I'm venting. Not everyday is crazy, some days are issues free and they're amazing.  But I guess that's what parenthood is. Some days will be happy, Other days.. well not so much. This too Shall Past. ..before I know it, the boys will be older. All of Jacob's teeth will be in place and Frankie will learn to communicate without yelling and screaming.  And this will all be a distant memory. 

As for me, I'll get over my body issues.,, Maybe.....

Whats in my diaper bag.

Let me paint a picure for you.  The year was 2011.  Frankie was 2 months old.  We went to brunch with some family memebers  Frankie was dressed in his Sundays best.  He looked adorable.  Then, something happened!  HE had an accident.  You know, a poop accident!  It was like an explosion! There was baby poop everywhere.  He needed an outfit change. So there I go, off to the restroom with my huge diaper bag.  I managed to clean him up and change him.  Then, it was time to put his socks.  .. BUT... I didn't pack extra socks!!  MIND YOU, it's Decemeber and it was pretty chilly out.  Frankie needed to wear socks on his tiny feet.  I took his mittens off his hands and put them on his feet as socks.  OF course, everyone laughed at me.  And from that day on, I promised myself that I would NEVER be unprepared.  I may forget 1 million things, but I would never forget  socks again!



Maybe I'm a little dramatic.  But believe me, Frankie has extra socks in his school bag.  Along with extra clothes, undies and baby wipes. 

I have two separate diaper bags.  1 for long outings and the other for quick trips to the grocery store or when I'm dropping Frankie off at school. 

So this is whats in Jacob's Diaper Bag.

Eddie Bauer Bag

Diapers and Wipes-  I stash a lot. Self explanatory, I mean, really, just carry a bunch with you because you never know when your baby is going to have a huge explosion.  SO just take my word for it and go cray on the diapers. For wipes, I just carry the pack. I don't like using the plastic container because I use wipes for EVERYTHING.  I use them for Frankie too for quick clean ups. 

Weather Appropriate Clothing- Obviously, you're not going to dress baby in a hot outfit.  Remember that you're supposed to dress baby in one more layer then you'd wear.  IF you're Hot, then most likely baby is hot.  I also carry a few short sleeve and a few pair of pants.  Again, for explosions.  AND if we're going to be out late, then I carry his pj's so I could change him into his pjs and he could be warm and cozy.  AND DUH< extra socks!!

Nursing Cover-  I use one of my Aden and Anais swaddle blankets because, and I've said this before, they're lightweight and really long so I can cover Jacob and myself and I'm not showing off my goodies! 

Sollybaby Wrap-  I can't get enough of how awesome this wrap is and I'm getting better at quickly wrapping it.  I researched this wrap before I purchased it.  I watched YouTube tutorials and perfected the wrap part if it.  Yay! I did try the Moby, but it was thicker fabric and it made me so hot!  This is so convinent when I'm picking up Frankie and I need my hands free to carry his blanket and classwork. 

Tylenol and Nose Frieda- This isn't something I usually carry all the time, however, both Jacob and Frankie have been sick these last couple of weeks.

Anti-Bactrial Wipes- Frankie's doctor mentioned to me that I should wipe him down before entering the house because he is not the most hygienic person.  AND everyone at Frankie's school is sick.  So Anti-bacterial wipes are an essential.  Especially when we're spending a long time outside/ out and about. 

Wallet, Keys, Lipstick- I use my diaper bag as my purse. Because I don't want to have to carry around an extra bag. AND the baby AND make sure Frankie doesn't run off into the street, traffic or run off at the grocery store.

Pacifier Case-  I don't like tossing his paci's in the bag without a protective cover.  I had a fancy pants, pacifier bag but I lost it. So I searched my house for something where I can hold Jacobs paci's and I found a tiny container as a party favor.  My friend made these delicious macaroons for her son's baptism and I kept the container. So, that's what I use. And I carry like 100. J/K I carry 3 in there just in case I lose one.

Pacifier Wipes- pretty self explanatory. Jacob drops his paci everywhere, or Frankie touches it with his germy hands (remember, Frankie's new nickname is THE GERM).  I got these at Walmart.  

That is really all I carry.  I really don't have much room for anything else.  Infants needs a ton of stuff. Make sure your diaper bag is big enough to carry all your things.  OR you could be like some moms I know that only carry what they'll need for that particular outing.  I can't do this because I am the INCASE OF EMERGENCY MOM!

Cancun Dinner

Cancun Dinner by mayrabeltran featuring lips makeup

Hurley maxi dress
backcountry.com

Charles by Charles David black wedge sandals
pinkmascara.com

Diane Von Furstenberg black purse
dvf.com

Kenneth Jay Lane charm necklace
neimanmarcus.com

Bling Jewelry flower earrings
blingjewelry.com

CARGO lips makeup
beauty.com

Stila cheek bronzer
sephora.com

Benefit mascara
$29 - johnlewis.com

Not Your Mother s black hair care
urbanoutfitters.com